Friday 19 May 2023



In my previous message, I referred to broken homes, difficulties in families, all leading from failed marriages. In to-day’s message, I want to write on THE IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE. which was once the bedrock of society to maintain stability.       

Let us turn to some verses from the Old Testament in the book of Genesis, God said, ‘ it is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a helper for him.  So the Lord God caused man to fall into a deep sleep.  Then the Lord God made a woman and brought her to the man.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they shall become one flesh’

When God created the world He ordained marriage, He set out in His Word how we can have the best in that relationship. Marriage was intended as a sacred religious ceremony to be celebrated before God in Church, men and women giving a promise to live faithfully together until death parted them. 

Marriage was first mentioned in Genesis when God created man, and then said it was not good for man to be alone, so God made a woman to be man’s companion, and God said they should be united.  Therefore, marriage is a divine ordinance.  Our Lord constantly referred to the Old Testament particularly when referring to marriage.

 We are told the man was sleeping when God decided to make woman. So God gave woman as man’s helper, someone who can be at man’s side, who will give life more meaning, pleasure and support; someone to love and cherish.    Matthew Henry wrote, ‘woman was made not out of man’s head to rule over him, not out of his foot to be trampled on, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, near to his heart to be loved’.

 There is no indecision, God made man. God made woman. Complete fact. The greatest gift man could have.

The Bible states, ‘he who finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favor from the Lord.  

Today, in both the United Kingdom and the United States of America, there are public figures scared to answer the question, what is a woman? All terrified, devoid of any courage, thereby failing to respect women, in case they are criticized for saying a biological female.

Marriage was the first institution God created, before Church or anything else, From time immemorial, in every nation in the world, in every way of life and belief, the normal way of life was the joining of a man and woman, in a sacred service of matrimony before God, a once for all union, which would raise a family, and this has been the practice through the ages.

 God made two people, man and woman, Adam and Eve; not William and Harry or Sharon and Tracy. We must accept that God knows best, and when he wanted man to have a companion He made a woman as the perfect answer, someone who could complement man in every way, physically and mentally in a way other men could not, and men throughout the ages have appreciated and recognised this. God wanted to supply what was lacking in man’s life, and together they could have children and create the ideal family.  He made men and women to have a natural attraction, opposites attracting.  God planned the human heart to love, marry and have children. Most men if honest would concede how their wife has been of much help.

So we have two people, equal yet different, no question of superiority or inferiority.  They were not meant to be identical, men are generally stronger physically, more aggressive, with a greater propensity for leadership, women softer and sensitive and caring, specially equipped to be mothers. In all ways of life, men and women can however perform the same tasks, but God did give special gifts to each.  

In the film ‘my fair lady’, Rex Harrison playing a professor of phonetics asks, ‘why can’t a woman be like a man, and gets the answer, ‘because she wasn’t created to be’.  We are a mixture that complements one another.

The Bible states a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife.  Cleave suggests glued together, so the two should grow in love through the years in an exclusive commitment. As they do so they share likes and dislikes, and whilst they will have different strengths and weaknesses, each will help the other. They will find they can know the other’s feelings, and often anticipate what the other is thinking. They need to trust each other and have no secrets. The wife is now the one in the man’s life who takes precedence over all others.    

When two people appear together at Church for the wedding service, they pledge their faithfulness to each other and there is the giving of a ring(s).  The ring has no break, no ending, signifying unending love.  The ring is made of gold, precious and for longevity.  This is what God intended. They make vows to be true to each other, pledging  to stay together until death, not as the modern way of until we get fed up with each other.

Having become one, they were not to look for sexual pleasure elsewhere.  Marriage was meant to be for life, but now is under attack as never before, and not seen as a lifelong commitment, divorce is easy and generally taken as acceptable.  Jesus laid strictness on marriage, but ruled divorce out.  In Britain we have one of the lowest marriage rates in Europe, but the highest number of divorces.

     In the days of Henry Ford and the Model T, someone asked him to what formula he attributed his successful marriage. He said, "The same formula as the making of a successful car: stick to one model."

A problem these days is people watch television, and are unable to differentiate fact from fiction. There are movies where boy meets girl, or man meets woman, they enjoy time together, which means they jump into bed together, and usually leads to disappointment in their lives, or leads to a quick, unthought about marriage. There is often a situation where one or both have other partners .

Marriage is a gift of God, and needs to be respected. There needs to be time spent getting to know the everyday ways of the other, the irritations there may be. Billy Graham used to advise young people, who are Christians, to ask God to guide them and He would lead them to the right man or woman.

Some people would scoff at such a suggestion, but from personal experience I know it to be true. God must have loved me, for He gave me a girl with whom I shared a happy married life with for many years, until He recently called her back. .

Marriage is the bedrock of society, yet now long held beliefs are being challenged.   Marriage lends stability to society and builds a framework, which is held in high esteem.  It is one of the most important aspects of our culture.   Jesus highly valued marriage, and performed His first miracle at a wedding.    

Marriage is a solid foundation for the bringing up of children, who are a key factor in God’s intention for marriage. I worked in a big city, with a lot of different districts, and I once remarked to a Jewish Rabbi that I had never known a Jewish boy (or girl) get into trouble for anti-social or violent behavior.  I asked him what he attributed this to, and he said ‘the Jewish Mama, she keeps control of her family.’  I am sure that is true, but there are many Christian mamas too, perhaps not as many as hitherto


God has laid down total disapproval of divorce, which for  many years was not a practice the majority of people sought, they were more respectful of their vows, and tried to be reconciled. The Bible does in the New Testament allow divorce, if one partner in a marriage is unfaithful and commits adultery, leaving the innocent party to be free of blame. To obtain a divorce, it was necessary to show some worthy cause to justify.  How different now, that the government have  made it so easy, that man or woman can obtain a divorce without reason, or even seeking the other partner’s agreement.

We have now reached the stage where the whole of God’s original plan for men and women has been widely abandoned.  Just as in the days of Malachi described in the Old Testament, there is a spiritual decline with people forsaking God, and an alarming breakdown in family life.

When God’s plan for marriage is not followed, there are so many failed ones.  We need to return to the Biblical pattern, where the secrets of a happy married life are laid out.


 In recent days of the twentieth century, it became fashionable for two people of the same sex to create a same sex union legislated into law. It was inevitable that this would only be tolerated for a short period, before demanding to have this termed as marriage.  Supported politically and by the Church, who misinterpreted the Bible, to say God was a God of  love, so therefore included same sex marriages. This was a gross and false statement. The Bible in numerous passages, strictly condemns such unions unequivocally. It was wrong for the Church to mislead.

If two people want to live together, that is entirely their right to do so in a free society, and  should be allowed to do so without interference from anyone else. but not for the Church to comply.

God intended men and women should have children, which means having a father and mother.  Children need both for a balanced upbringing, and to receive the benefit of both characters in their lives.  Family meant husband, wife and children.  This is the ideal, which cannot be attained by two people of the same sex.

 The practice of a man referring to another man as his wife, or a woman referring to a woman as her husband, is an abuse of words.

We now have two people of the same sex adopting children, or paying someone to act as surrogate, with the aid of a third party to assist by providing the required alternative specimen.

 Research after research, has resulted in being agreed that a home without a father and mother, leads to a child’s failure to rise to its ability. Children have fallen into Crime, and other misdeeds when devoid of the two parents. Many children have grown up in a lot of sadness when their parents fall out and/or parting..  Grown- ups should act accordingly, and think of the children they created, and the responsibility they owe them.

Politicians have caused untold hardship to many abandoned children by their stubborn insistence, not only in giving two same sex people the right to adopt children, but making it illegal for Adoption bodies to refuse adoption by same sex couples.  Such action resulted in Catholic Adoption agencies, which did such fine work, being forced to close down because they found it unable to reconcile such servile policy contrary to their Christian belief. Such is the government’s idea of democracy and freedom of conscience.

 Casual sex, ‘partnerships’, and recognized homosexual relationships as ‘marriage’, are contrary to God creation.  Marriage was heterosexual, and co-habitation causes so many problems in society as many children do not know their biological father.

Politicians have now tried to replace God with their own discredited plans, and decided to redefine marriage on the spurious grounds of supposed equality.  People can be perfectly equal without being the same; God did this at the time of creation when he made both man and woman equal in His sight, but for different purposes.

David Cameron created the present chaos with his typical off the cuff action,  without thinking the issue through.  God created us different so children could be brought into the world, something same sex couples cannot do. Civil partnerships provided all the legal provision for people who wish to live together, and that is a matter for choice which we all accept is a personal decision. 

To disagree with same sex marriage is not homophobic or bigotry, such opposition is not based against sexual orientation, but on respect for tradition and biblical teaching. God made man and then made woman to be joined together with the view to producing children. Such is the purpose of marriage. Civil partnerships provide all that marriage can offer in law, there cannot therefore be any reasonable or justifiable cause to create massive disruption, conflict and controversy.                                  Why then have Church leaders in this country forced the introduction to be celebrated in Churches?               

The Methodist Church Conference made a momentous decision to change direction of the Church, without members being consulted because an earlier survey indicated  it would rejected.  I am sure they will come to regret this.  In the coming months the Church of England has indicated it will approve the introduction of such  unions, having already having approved blessings for couples who have gone through a civil ceremony.

The once great Methodist Church was built on strong biblical foundation. The great revival of Christianity in this country came during the ministry of John and Charles Wesley. If they were alive today they would have much to say at he at the way the Church has failed to proclaim the message they left. I am sure they would hardly recognize the Church today,  they did not have the technological wonders we have, but one thing would please them, there are still some of us who still believe the Bible.

John Wesley laid down much of the liturgy, and in the Methodist Worship Book his introduction to the Marriage Service states, a marriage ceremony is a formal occasion when a solemn, legal contract is made between a man and a woman. In this context, it is also an act of worship in which marriage is celebrated as a gift from God, and the joy of the couple is shared and their commitment to each other is witnessed by families and friends, The Marriage Service’s themes of love, hope, faithfulness,, sacrifice and trust are at the heart of the Christian gospel,

How can the leaders of the Churches and the Ministers allow this to happen? A Minister is in the Church to represent Christ and speak for Jesus. We are called to preach the gospel that Jesus commanded and ordered His Apostles to teach, not the wishes of society.  Has commitment and integrity been abandoned altogether in the Church.

There will be many Ministers who will not want to accept the decision made, and may be forced to move family and home, and also put their career at risk after years of devotion. There will inevitably instances where congregations will have a different opinion tan the Minister, so causing more division.The Bible states ,ALL Scripture is inspired by God and does not need any additions, subtractions or amendments.

It is impossible for Christians to support same sex marriage, when it is recognized that this was not God intended, as numerous Biblical passages spell out.  Yet the Bishop of Salisbury once told, we should support such unions, and stated we must view with a mix of bible, tradition and reasoned experience.  I agree fully with the bishop on the latter statement; although he is obviously rather confused.

Regrettably, there are those within and leading the Church, still campaigning for same sex marriages. A Labour Member of Parliament has introduced a Bill to force the Church to adopt the same. All this after the Church of England has been cast out of the Anglican Communion of Churches, because the bishops have already authorized blessings for such marriages.

The Bible is unequivocal that marriage is heterosexual; tradition is that marriage is solely man and woman; and reasoned experience has proved that marriage creates a stable structure and is the bedrock of society.

How ironic that Britain and America, with two misguided leaders of the two nations, which over the years sent missionaries to other smaller nations to teach Christianity, should want to lead other nations to forsake those great principles once given, for  their personal twisted misguided progressive ideas.

How pleased will God be in seeing missionaries from those countries, now coming to our lands to teach us what real Christianity means, and are preaching in Churches which are filled with devoted followers. 

From my pleasant association with Christians in Africa I see how the Christians in those nations shine so brightly, and are inspiring in their devotion to the faith, and find the lack of faith in Western nations disappointing.  They found recent action of the bishops of the Church of England to approve blessings for same sex unions, was one of disapproval for the violation of holy Scripture.

I close with the words used by the distinguished Roman Catholic Archbishop of Westminster in a pastoral letter, ‘we have a duty to married people today, and to those who come after us, to do all we can to ensure that the true meaning of marriage is not lost for future generations.’


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