Marriage (Not redefined)


I stated in my previous post that I would write on marriage based on the Biblical ideal created by God.

Let us turn to some verses from the Old Testament in the book of Genesis, God said, ‘ it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper for him. So the Lord God caused man to fall into a deep sleep. Then the Lord God made a woman and brought her to the man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they shall become one flesh’
When God created the world He ordained marriage, He set out in His Word how we can have the best in that relationship. Marriage was intended as a sacred religious ceremony to be celebrated before God in Church, men and women giving a promise to live faithfully together until death parted them.

Marriage was first mentioned in Genesis when God created man and then said it was not good for man to be alone so God made a woman to be man’s companion, and God said they should be united. Therefore, marriage is a divine ordinance. Our Lord constantly referred to the Old Testament particularly when referring to marriage.

We are told the man was sleeping when God decided to make woman. So God gave woman as man’s helper, someone who can be at man’s side who will give life more meaning, pleasure and support; someone to love and cherish. Matthew Henry wrote, ‘woman was made not out of man’s head to rule over him, not out of his foot to be trampled on, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, near to his heart to be loved’.
The Bible states, ‘he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.’

God made two people, man and woman, Adam and Eve. We must accept that God knows best and when he wanted man to have a companion He made a woman as the perfect answer, someone who could complement man in every way, physically and mentally in a way other men could not, and men throughout the ages have appreciated and recognised this. God wanted to supply what was lacking in man’s life and together they could have children and create the ideal family. He made men and women to have a natural attraction, opposites attracting. God planned the human heart to love, marry and have children. Most men if honest would concede how their wife has been of much help.

So we have two people, equal yet different, no question of superiority or inferiority. They were not meant to be identical, men are generally stronger physically, more aggressive, with a greater propensity for leadership, women softer and sensitive and caring, specially equipped to be mothers, and usually live longer. In the film ‘my fair lady’ Rex Harrison playing a professor of phonetics asks ‘why can’t a woman be like a man, and gets the answer, ‘because she wasn’t created to be’. We are a mixture that complements one another.

The Bible states a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Cleave means glued together, so the two should grow in love through the years in an exclusive commitment. As they do so they share likes and dislikes, and whilst they will have different strengths and weaknesses, each will help the other. They will find they can know the other’s feelings and often anticipate what the other is thinking. They need to trust each other and have no secrets. The wife is now the one in the man’s life who takes precedence over all others.

When two people appear together at Church for the wedding service, they pledge their faithfulness to each other and there is the giving of a ring(s). The ring has no break, no ending, signifying unending love. The ring is made of gold, precious and for longevity. This is what God intended.

Having become one they were not to look for sexual pleasure elsewhere. Marriage was meant to be for life but now is under attack as never before and not seen as a lifelong commitment, divorce is easy and generally taken as acceptable. Jesus laid strictness on marriage but ruled divorce out. In Britain we have one of the lowest marriage rates in Europe but the highest number of divorces.

In the days of Henry Ford and the Model T, someone asked him to what formula he attributed his successful marriage. He said, "The same formula as the making of a successful car: stick to one model."

Marriage is the bedrock of society yet now long held beliefs are being challenged. Marriage lends stability to society and builds a framework which is held in high esteem. It is one of the most important aspects of our culture. Jesus highly valued marriage and performed His first miracle at a wedding.

Marriage is a solid foundation for the bringing up of children, who are a key factor in God’s intention for marriage. I was a Police Officer in the country’s most vibrant city, and I once remarked to a Jewish Rabbi that I had never known a Jewish boy (or girl) get into trouble for anti-social or violent behaviour. I asked him what he attributed this to and he said ‘the Jewish Mama, she keeps control of her family.’ I am sure that is true, but there are many Christian mamas too, perhaps not as many as hitherto.

God intended men and women should have children, which means having a father and mother. Children need both for a balanced upbringing and to receive the benefit of both characters in their lives. Family meant husband, wife and children. This is the ideal which cannot be attained by two people of the same sex.

Politicians have caused untold hardship to many abandoned children by their stubborn insistence not only on giving two same sex people the right to adopt children, but making it illegal for Adoption bodies to refuse adoption by same sex couples. Such action resulted in Catholic Adoption agencies, which did such fine work, being forced to close down because they found it unable to reconcile such servile policy contrary to their Christian belief. Such is the government’s idea of democracy and freedom o conscience.

When God’s plan for marriage is not followed there are so many failed ones. We need to return to the Biblical pattern where the secrets of a happy married life are laid out.

We have now reached the stage where the whole of God’s original plan for men and women has been widely abandoned. Just as in the days of Malachi described in the Old Testament, there is a spiritual decline with people forsaking God, and an alarming breakdown in family life.

Casual sex, ‘partnerships’, and recognised homosexual relationships as ‘marriage’, are contrary to God creation. Marriage was heterosexual, and co-habitation causes so many problems in society as many children do not know their biological father.

Politicians have now tried to replace God with their own discredited plans and decided to redefine marriage on the spurious grounds of supposed equality. People can be perfectly equal without being the same; God did this at the time of creation when he made both man and woman equal in His sight, but for different purposes.

David Cameron created the present chaos with his typical off the cuff action without thinking the issue through. God created us different so children could be brought into the world, something same sex couples cannot do. Civil partnerships provided all the legal provision for people who wish to live together, and that is a matter for choice which we all accept is a personal decision.

Whilst trumpeting all this shallow talk of equality, the falsity of the man was revealed when he refused to sanction civil partnerships for heterosexual couples. So for 1% of the population (based on government figures) and for a cheap voting aim, which has backfired spectacularly, we have the time honoured understanding of marriage being destroyed.

It is quite impossible for Christians to support same sex marriage when it is recognised that this was not God intended, as numerous Biblical passages spell out. Yet the Bishop of Salisbury tells we should support such unions and states we must view with a mix of bible, tradition and reasoned experience. I agree fully with the bishop on the latter statement; although he is obviously rather confused.

The Bible is unequivocal that marriage is heterosexual; tradition is that marriage is solely man and woman; and reasoned experience has proved that marriage creates a stable structure and is the bedrock of society.

I close with the words used by the more distinguished Roman Catholic Archbishop of Westminster in a pastoral letter, ‘‘we have a duty to married people today, and to those who come after us, to do all we can to ensure that the true meaning of marriage is not lost for future generations.